She's the lead singer and songwriter for Evanescence. This is "Going Under":

Now I will tell you what i've done for you
50 thousand tears i've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me

I am finding out that my ex has installed himself in my friends life. I never got that impression from her, but I am finding it isn't true. I feel betrayed and hurt. I have lost friends over the years because of him and now I have few.

Hello everyone,
I see there is a lot going on here. I miss you all very much. I am doing well. The children are doing well. I hope to be around more often. The court hasn't made me stop blogging. BUT..ex Monster put up such a stink I dropped in and out. and OUT..

Hi there. I decided to post a blog on here after another needless fight with my husband tonight.
I have always felt like he verbally abused me from time to time (we have been together almost seven years), but after the last few months, it is just getting worse.

I'd like to ask that before tempers flare anymore and drama ensues, that we all take a minute to chill out and remember why we're here.

Thanks.

I was just listening to this song on the radio....boy, does it speak to me right now...especially the parts about "If I listened...If I gave you time to change my mind....

It's really interesting if you look at the words from our point of view.

I filed... I got up (wasn't really asleep).... had diarrhea....and snuck out of the house in the dark and STORMING rain to go downtown to Domestic Relations and fill out the 1000 page questionnaire to petition for child support. B/c he currenly only is recieving VA benefits, they are trying to see if they can be directly deducted from. I feel bad a little bit... I feel sneaky.....

It is important to recognize that the laws on domestic violence vary according to where you live.They vary from state to state and if you live somewhere other than the US.There are things the police CAN do to help you and there are things they CANNOT do.They can only act according to what the LAW allows.The police are a tool to help combat domestic abuse.They are not the sole answer to the problem.STATISTICS SHOW THAT MORE POLICE OFFICERS LOSE THEIR LIVES ANSWERING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CALLS THAN ANY OTHER.

Ahhhhhhhh tomorrow at 8 am sharp I will be filing for child support. I have to hurry up and get him served before he moves out of state to New Orleans if that is what he's doing. I am sure the shit will hit the fan, and honestly I am nervous. I keep questioning myself, "Is this the right thing to do? Do I have to file for child support? Now?"

The Verbal Abuse of 5/15/08
Dear husband,
You are forgetting that we agreed it is not nice to insinuate that black people are " rif raf" and that you wouldn't say it anymore. But despite that, in regards to the black families next door who've been looking at the house across the street, you said, "If any rif raf moves in, I'm putting a for sale sign up. I'm just warning you." You are in effect criticizing me by saying what you said because I have black blood. You are discounting me when I argue with you about it when you say I am not black (because I am mixed) and therefore have bad judgement in the matter as if you're opinion is the right one (which is obviously wrong.) By stating that you will sell this house if the you don't like who ever moves in across the street, you are threatening my well being, discounting my wisdom about holding onto real estate and withholding empathy for my feelings about owning my first house and the trouble we went through to achieve it. You are also undermining my intelligence and serenity with the subject in general.

Abused women are NOT to blame for choosing to love someone.They are NOT to blame for continuing to love someone who abuses them.Their abuser IS to blame for betraying their trust, love and for CHOOSING to abuse them.Loving is the NOT the mistake.Choosing the WRONG PERSON to love is.Not loving YOURSELF enough is a mistake.It is a CORRECTABLE mistake.Just as trusting or loving the wrong person is a CORRECTABLE mistake.A woman who is being abused doesn't need to HATE more.She needs to LOVE HERSELF MORE so that abuse in the relationship becomes so intolerable that she demands BETTER for her life.So that the standard she has for her relationships are that the people in her life treat her with love and respect and decency.

Thanks to all my amazing WS friends for your encouraging wonderful words of praise yesterday. I just got them this morning and it made me light up in a smile :)

I am going ot meet my divorce lawyer in 2 hours... I am excited and nervous. My H thinks I'm going to the doctor. I have been battling cervical cancer type issues for YEARS now and they think it's come back. Of course he has played a very tiny role in any of my care. I didn't even tell him for over a year...what was the point? Even after he knew and I told him why I couldn't ahve sex after certain exams...he just got mad anyway or huffed and puffed like a big ass baby.

I am unable to sleep or rest so I was thinking you might be available, are you?
I could really appreciate a good ear right now!
Let me know,
Love, SS

He just text messaged me. It was a comment that he saw I was online (I thought I had disabled those features). Do they ever leave you alone? I just want to get back to somewhere good. Reading the You Are Not Crazy site made me realize that things he did and said were abusive, even stuff I didn't realize was a way of controlling. I am more determined now to stop it all. It is just so hard when they are around. As soon as things get good he is back. Ugh.

How do you get that "I am crazy" feeling out of your head even though you know you are not. I haven't been with my ex in over a year, but we can't seem to get out of each others lives. I have stated so many time that I want no contact and yet it doesn't work. I think I realized that he is a "mind fu*ker" years ago. Everything wrong that he has ever done or said is always my fault. I go from believing it to knowing it isn't true. Everyone else loves him, but I feel like only I know the real him. I feel like he has multiple personalities and I get the bad ones (mean, depressed, apathetic, etc.) and see the good ones when others are around. It is all so confusing. I am sick of all the horible things he says to me and him never owning up to hurtful actions.

Talk about confusion. Talk about charming. My guy has the whole neighborhood, old people, dogs, babies, neighbors, thinking he's just the coolest guy. He's an actor. We both are. I think sometimes people just want to be friends with him because he's on tv. (He's not a regular but guest stars a lot. So we're not rich, we are struggling.) People see signs of abuse but ignore it.

I think I am beginning to understand that the only place I am allowed to "talk" is in my own head. The truth is really not truly allowed, you must sugar coat it in a way other people can accept it.
This is truly sad to me because, obviously i've been mis-understood. Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am a good person and that my aim is true.

I've never really enjoyed the saying "When life hands you lemons make lemonade" I always thought that the sugar it takes to make the lemonade just makes it worse. Sugar will kill you..it's processed white powdered garabage....right? I like to say, "When life hands you lemons...peel it and eat it. It will be sour, but your throat will feel better"

I learned probably my greatest lesson from The Wordslinger and that is that I need to focus on me. What I can change. The more I focus on him and what a horrible pyschotic person he can be the more down I get. Not to say I haven't had my moments of THAT too! I realize that we all heal differently.